mardi 2 avril 2013

Délavé à l’humour

Ceci est un document rare (et véridique)
paru dans La Dépêche du midi, le 29 juin 1972.

This is a rare document (and sincere)
appeared in
La Dépêche du Midi, in June 29th, 1972.

“Instructions for fading jeans (the ‘past’ is the future). If
faith can move mountains, then there is no reason why it
can’t fade jeans. Instructions: Take a basin, fill it with three
quarts of salt water, one quart of river water, one quart of
lemon balm water; un quart à vannes, un quart table et un
quart d’heure (F. Girbaud’s famous puns)
, but only one third of
rock salt and a few drops of bleach: Squeeze the juice of one
lime, that you first cut in half to make it easier to juice. Wait
until the product soit dissous (attention, à partir du 17 juillet
il passera à 20 sous) (F. Girbaud’s famous puns again)
. At the
same time, simmer over a low heat a pot full of rivets, studs,
rhinestones, badges, stars, etc. Gently pick up the clothing
between your thumbs and index fingers, jeans fabric is quite
stubborn so we suggest that you whistle innocently with
your back to the basin . . . and then suddenly turn around
to take the garment by surprise and plunge it into the water;
hold it there firmly and mercilessly for a few minutes until it
stops struggling. When the last bubbles have burst, the actual
fading begins. The choice of the real end color is quite
special, so we leave it up to your imagination as to what happens
next, and to chlore (pun again), we wish you good luck.
P.S.: Don’t forget to turn off the heat under the pot.”